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Saturday, February 03, 2007

thinking

I think I think too much. Do I? Andi would now say: yes! I think she would...

It's 2 o'clock, I just came home, alone. All the others are still going out. My plan was to get at least 5 hours of sleep until I have to get up early tomorrow for work. The plan actually didn't include the caffein I drunk with the rum.. so it is even worse. I went home, but can't sleep. Which leeds me back to thinking. Thinking what I would do if I get that job in Valencia. Leave Sevilla and start everything again? Alone? Loneliness is the next thought. I now appreciate my friends I have back home in Austria even more. I can see how hard it is to make new ones. Some of them just disappear and don't give a fuck how you are and what you do. A weird thing is that I feel bad about that, because I always tell people back home that everything is ok here. I tell them that I have a lot of friends and a lot of parties, but actually that changed but this I don't want to tell them, too 'uncool' for time spent abroad.. Parties got less, friends left. This led me to thoughts about myself and I found out that I depend a lot on other people. Not sooo hard to find that out, I know. Still, I never wanted to admit that to me. I try to change that.
Until then I replace the lost friends who made me feel good before with something else. Until I close the gap by myself.

6 Comments:

Anonymous coca cola liiiigh said...

oh come oooon... if you break it down to reality, how many friends left, eh? one. one big one I know, but was he/she/it ever a real one? doubt that. Making real friends now is hardly possible tía, there might be one or two persons in the world who can become a real friend in the future but in the meantime real friends are those persons who asked you how an o.b. works, or who already saw you throwing up in the snow and things like that.

ai, tia. lo siento q tengo q decirte eso..peeero... de verdad no te preocupes tanto. and yes. think less, live more.. la vida es una tombola, tom tom toooombola.

and hihi, the word I have to write to send my comment is OCANI. oh cani, don't worry, hakuna matata, we ARE going to find a karaoke bar.

2/03/2007 05:34:00 am  
Anonymous martina said...

The friend that told Mone how an o.b. works obviously wasn't a very good one, because to this day she only uses sanitary towels :P

2/03/2007 01:01:00 pm  
Blogger simo said...

bullshit, that's not true!!! And I didn't ask anybody, but do you remember Dominik at Café Maier. Asking if we actually can pee with "it" "on".

2/03/2007 05:04:00 pm  
Anonymous martina said...

I didn't attend your educational meeting

2/03/2007 06:43:00 pm  
Blogger Pedro said...

Que te pasa tia!?!? no me has contado nada...Bueno espero que podamos hablar pronto, eres un sol... y lo sabes

2/04/2007 01:24:00 am  
Blogger luis said...

ich hab dich lieb und denk sehr oft an dich. öfter als mir lieb ist.

2/12/2007 03:47:00 pm  

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